Not Lost

We talked about it. Why what i have written has caused him to be quiet with me. He says i shock him a bit but that my words turn him on. I'm restless, always have been but i guess for the period in my life when i had babies it was difficult to be anything but a mother.
Not to say that any woman becoming a mother doesn't have difficulties but i found it tough and lost myself in those early years. The fact that i am more me now than i've been for years shouldn't make him worry.
I'm back! That's all and i'm excited, eager to explore. I've remembered how it feels to be n, and yes, men look at me again and yes, i like it! I am finally quite comfortable with asking for what i want and not being ashamed of that. Struggling with depression for all this time, well i just want to grab him by the hand and say 'come with me, lets do it!' Even i'm not exactly sure what but i think that could be half the adventure.
He is my lover, best friend and part of me. He made me cry with some of the things he said. I don't think he meant to hurt me. I love him and i hope he can still see the n he thinks he's lost.

3

How would it be with three? A beautiful girl to join us. So many possibilities.....

I imagine in great detail, seeing her, flirting, guessing and finally knowing she wants to touch and be touched. The journey to our hotel room. Eyes lustfully looking into each others soul. Do you see the same as me?

Gentle stroking turning into the frantic removal of clothes, inhibitions and hopefully my nerves.
Touching J. Conspiratorial glances as we lay him down, 2 bodies working together to pleasure him. Our tongues greedily licking his cock, sharing his salty taste together with the soft kisses i've never experienced. Our breasts occasionally touching, making me ache so wonderfully.

On your back, J touches you. Seeing his cock harder than ever, watching his gentle, skillful fingers trace the shape of your wet, pink lips. Circling your clit and delving 2 fingers deep inside, making you come with delicious ease. Eyes wide as i lick the taste of you off his fingers.

The anticipation of being with you, the desperate need making my juices spill between my thighs. Knowing J is watching me make my discovery and feeling exhilarated as i realise i no longer care about anything else except here, now in this room.

You reaching for my hard, hard nipples, J stepping back to sit and stroke and watch, giving me the permission i want but no longer need. Touching your perfect breasts, feeling your hard, brown peaks under my tongue. You opening your legs for me and wanting me to taste the soft folds of your sex, your moans and gasps filling the sex scented air. Wrapping our legs around each other, pushing our wanting pussies harder, tighter together. Hearing J groan as he comes and you kissing me frantically as you and i do.

Is that what three would be like?

Doing This

I don't think you approve. I show you my posts, you say very little now. What have i done? What has upset you? You always knew i was this girl. Maybe all the thoughts in my head were just that - thoughts in *my* head.

I love you. You are what i want but i can't help but think of something else out there. I have been this way all my life and only now do i feel like it is a positive thing, not something to weigh me down. I want you with me while i make discoveries.

Was it the post about other girls? Was it the descriptions of her and me and how desperate i sounded? I can't deny any of it. It is raw and true.

Darling don't feel left out. I adore you and your beauty. Please love my openness with you. I need that feeling of total excitement. When you can't think straight and feel totally uninhibited because a desire for pleasure is total and overwhelming. It is essential.

Let me explore this, not alone but with you and your love. It would not be right without you.

Reason

I received this text while out with a girlfriend...

Want to lick you till you come all over my face then make you suck me and smack you with my cock. Have fun. Night baby.

This from my shy J? Now there is a reason to hurry home.

Making the most of it

For the next five and a half weeks my free time will disappear. School hours are the sacred time where the house belongs to me and me alone. i can listen to Amy Winehouse or Maximo Park as loud as i want, paint if i feel like it or what usually happens, a session with my vibrator. This being the last week of freedom i've been making the most of it.

I was feeling a bit girlie in black and purple satin bra and knickers and liked how they felt and looked. The back of the pants were mesh and looking at my arse in the mirror reminded me of a photo i had seen. The girl in the picture was beautiful and curvy with the kind of arse you want to stroke and the most perfect breasts. The sort you would like to cup with your hands to feel their firmness. The point was she was wearing stockings and i suddenly wanted to be wearing mine.

I put them on and kneeled on the bed, looking at myself. I knew what this fantasy was to be about. I felt my hard nipples through my silky bra, circling them, imagining this girl was watching me. I have never touched or been touched by another girl, but lately it is all i desire. I slip off my bra and wet my fingers, feeling how erect my pink nipples have become. I close my eyes and softly moan as i wonder how this would feel if it was her tongue, exploring my breasts as i would like to hers. How does it feel, that soft skin, that firm peak? Is it as good as i imagine?

I feel the wet material between my legs and the ache of a girl wanting to be touched. By another girl.

Taking off my soaking knickers i vow to make this a reality. I'm hot, wet, soaking wet and swollen with lust for this woman, whoever she may be. What would her tongue feel like as it separated my lips, lapped at my clit, dipped in and out of my sex?
How much wetter would tasting her sweet, musky pussy make me? I want to press against her body, rub my hard clit against hers and feel the satisfaction of making her come. Is it good?
Could she make me come as hard as i do with a man? Tell me. The state i am in on the bed, alone in just my stockings makes me think yes, yes. I'm dripping, my vibe pressed hard against me and i'm so desperate to be fucked by her that my orgasm, although causing me to scream out and shake is tinged with frustration and a need to try this.

Bad Day

Today i'm feeling lonely. Nasty feeling in my throat that means tears are never far away. Hope this won't last long. Since i got a little help from an understanding doctor things have been quite even but today that black cloud is starting to surround me. Creeping round my back and filling my gut with dread. Please don't last long.

Home Alone

Been reading Easily Aroused. His exquisite stories got me wet and wanting. I sit on this office chair, lazily fingering my slit as i take in his words.
A certain tale has pushed me to the edge. I HAVE to come.
Upstairs i take my vibrator from the drawer and bring the mirror. I want to watch. I sit on the floor, back pressed against the wall and position the mirror so i can see my shaved pussy. My dress is low cut and my tits look nice so i make sure i can see them too, and my face. My eyes look lustily back at me, is this the dirty look you see?

Soon

i can't look for long, no time, but i want to touch you so much. Soft skin, slightly tanned. Let me kiss your imperfect lips, perfect to me. Take off your shirt, feel strong shoulders, hairs on your chest. Maleness making a hunger rise from within me.
Lower now
Unbutton your trousers. Hardness pushing against your pants. I would gasp as your cock is freed. Pulses quicken, my throat tightens. The inside of your thighs, muscular and firm as fingers trace the space between knee and groin. I slowly lick my top lip as the feel of the soft, hot skin on your balls is recalled. i close my eyes. I want this too much. I'm aching, longing to taste your sweet cock as i hold onto smooth buttocks. I'm drunk with this.
Undressed, alone, i look at my mirrored image. Back instinctively arching at the thought of your touch. Nipples getting harder, circle them with your tongue. Shaven mound, just as you like it. Fingers gently brush my swollen pink lips. I look back at my reflection. Touch me soon.

Bruises

Last night we did one of my new favourite things.

Sucking cock is something i LOVE. I love the hard silkiness. I adore the groans as i lick and suck, nibble and stroke in new ways, letting my tongue and lips explore every inch. And the taste; sweet and salty, delicious.
My new pleasure involves lots of cock sucking but also a little submission.
He straddles me. Balls and cock hovering over my face. I'm licking my lips and trying to reach for a taste. I get a little lick and then SMACK. My cheek and mouth sting where his hard cock just hit me. Fuck it feels amazing. My pussy is buzzing and i reach between my legs and rub my clit. I'm so wet.
SLAP
The noise, the feel, the look in his eyes causes me to rub harder and search for his dripping cock with my tongue. 'Smack me again' i say and although J never likes to hurt me, my obvious thrusting and squirming confirms my complete pleasure.
J fucks my face then wanks into my open mouth. I swallow and smile and wonder if the bruises will show through my make up.

Outdoor Sex

Holiday sex is always good, outdoor holiday sex even better.
After lunch we went for a walk along a coastal path. We passed walkers in their suitable footwear and with rucksacks. I wore a very small dress and very large sunglasses. J already had naughty intentions.

We took the road less travelled, prickly plants scratching my bare legs. 1 minute later we found a low wall amongst the plants and trees. J stripped off, his cock already hard and shiny wet. He sat on the wall. I took him between my lips and tasted him. Sucking him in the fresh air, feeling how aroused he was got me wet and aching.
My turn.
I bent over the wall, lifted my dress as he slipped inside me. I came instantly, he groaned as my juices covered his balls and dripped down our legs.
Again.
He thrust deep inside me as i watched walkers pass by not far away. I wanted to be naked, i pulled my dress down. His hands quickly grabbed my breasts and squeezed my nipples hard.
Fuck, i came again.
I wanted to be watched. As he fucked me i imagined seeing someone, touching themselves, turned on by our sex. J came inside me.

Our come trickled down my legs as we rejoined the path and headed home.